The flying Tomatoe splats at the X-games

Snowboarding great Shaun White came away with the silver medal last week at the winter X-games. The once superstar of snowboarding’s performance at the X-games will forever be an asterisk on his remarkable career, and he will certainly be criticized for not stepping down in his prime. White had won the super pipe competition the last 4 years as well as Olympic gold earlier last year, but he was still a heavy underdog because of his age. At 20 years old White had become the Rocky Balboa of snowboarding, and few believed he would even be able to strap on a board in his aged condition. Sunday’s performance was a testament to the feeble nature of man, and a reminder to all that age truly is the great equalizer. Shaun White will always have his silver medal to remind him of the year he was just to old to cut it.

Mugatu Says there is no shame in quitting while you’re ahead. Shaun here are some sandals you can wear while you’re driving your retirement yacht.

Lindsey Jacobellis looses again in her reoccurring battle with gravity

Lindsey Jacobellis left the 2007 X-games with the Silver medal in snowboard X and the long awaited confirmation that she is cursed by god. Jacobellis infamously crashed and gave up her insurmountable lead in the Snowboard X competition in the 2006 Olympics costing her the gold medal, and in Saturday’s X-Games she was able to replicate the feat, almost identically. “We were not completely sure that Lindsey was cursed by the almighty one after Torino” said her father “but now that she has inexplicably chocked twice, we can just kind of look up in the sky and chuckle.” Jacobellis was shaken up after crashing across the finish line, and was taken to a nearby hospital as a precaution; her condition is listed as bitter and resentful.

Mugatu Says that Lindsey will enjoy falling all the time if she softens the blow with the Red Impact Shorts

Britney’s Divorce Brings out her Raw “Maternal Instinct”

Since Britney Spears first announced her pregnancy almost 2 glorious years ago people have been criticizing her capabilities as a mother, but last week, in an unbelievably selfless act, Britney finally put to rest the rumors of being a poor mother. Knowing full well that her children would eventually see the pictures, Britney flashed the world her “business” as a way to physically show her kids sex education. Her recent divorce of white boy rapper K-fed has forced Britney to blossom into a responsible single mother, and the proof is in the pudding as Britney has been spotted peach out in Hollywood with sexpert Paris Hilton. Child experts resoundingly approve of Brittany’s hands off, clothes off, approach, and Mugatu wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if her children grow up to be at least twice as slutty as Brittany.

Here is a pair of Ride Undies for Brittany Spears. Use them, Love them, and keep the kids away from the pool.

After 2 Year Retirement Jay-Z Agrees to Save Humanity

The history of mankind has been littered with horrific events and awful acts; the truly remarkable, great, events have been few and far between. Most historians agree that the birth of Christ, the discovery of the printing press, and the birth of Mugatu are the only good things to happen in the last 2000 or so years. November 21, 2006 will soon enter this exclusive list as rapper Jay-Z releases his excruciatingly long awaited album, Kingdom Come. Like the barren sands of the Sahara waiting centuries to quench a wraithlike thirst, we have been waiting nearly two years for Jay-Z to come out of retirement and release a non-collaborative studio produced album. No longer will we suckle at the teat of “guest appearance” or “single release”; we are liberated from our curse, and we thank you for your gift Jay-Z.

For returning to humanity, and giving us all what we so desperately need, Mugatu would like to give you this incredible Ezekiel Roman Fleece

Tragedy in London: Fergie Ferg’s London Bridge Goes Down

Most people assumed that when Fergie Ferg asked the question “How come every time you come around my London London Bridge Wanna go Down?” she was speaking non-explicitly about some sort of overt sexual act. In retrospect the catchy lyrics of Fergie Fergusons song “London Bridge” were clearly a cry for help. In a blast of irony, the incident occurred on Friday the 13th,Stacy (Fergie) Ferguson was in England touring for her The Dutchess album. Just a few hundred meters from the actual London Bridge: Reuters reports that the “you” from Fergie’s song must have “come around” and naturally Fergie Ferg’s London Bridge wanted to go down. Perhaps it was the crisp cool London air, or the stress from her first solo album, but Fergie lost control of her London Bridge and it went down. Paramedics were on site immediately, but naturally Fergie Ferg had little chance of surviving an actual downing of her London Bridge. Sanitation workers were called in to clean and sanitize over 7 city blocks. Fergie Ferg is survived only by her incredible list of catchy hip-hop songs.

Mugatu Says that the loss of Fergie Ferg is at the very least mildly upsetting, perhaps if she had worn this Ezekiel Glasgow Hoodie her London Bridge would have only gone down briefly and then come back.

Jackass, The Best Movie Ever Created, Hands Down, Seriously

Jackass No. 2 is one of the most magical cinematic adventures you will ever take. The cast list includes names like Chris Pontius, Steve-O, Preston Lacy, and Johnny Knoxville and is interspersed with other incredibly talented, beautiful actors in a cornucopia of talent that looks more like an all-time Hollywood all-star team then anything else. The movies storyline and character depth is nothing short of stunning, and it drives a sense of purpose for every viewer. One of the most amazing things to consider when you get the honor of watching this gem is how this cast was pulled away from the lucrative projects that each member of the cast was working on. Most notably Bam Margera has been involved heavily with Right Guard and their Power Strip Deodorant Technology, and Johnny Knoxville has been shooting birds near the airport; many people did not believe these two stars could be pried away from cable TV commercials and passionate hobbies, but somewhere, somehow, it all came together. I now understand why Johnny Knoxville is the Nickelodeon actor of the year runner up 2002, and I consider this movie an actual gift to humanity. Thank you Jackass No. 2, We Will Not Forget Your Sacrifices. God Bless you.

Mugatu Says I am sending you all my favorite Shirt for being so freaking awesome: The Ezekiel Augustus T-Shirt

Whitney Houston Will Always Love You, but Not Bobby Brown

Looking less like the glamorous superstar she was in the 80’s and more like the “after” shot in an anti-drug ad, Whitney Houston filed for divorce today from husband Bobby Brown. At the beginning of the marriage many believed that Houston would quickly tire of “bad boy” Bobby Brown and his numerous trips to prison, but, as true superstars do, she snorted her way to the top to have the current status as "the crazy one" in the marriage. The apex of Houston’s bazaar, decades long, crash was in 2002 when she tried to rationalize the use of cocaine to ABC’s Diane Sawyer. In the same interview Houston confirmed that she had been in a drug induced coma since the 80’s by using the statement “crack is wack”, making her the first person to use the word wack in over 18 years. On a positive note the star of The Bodyguard has entered rehab and gotten involved with numerous charities in an effort to turn her life around, and even though she has been addicted to numerous drugs, almost been imprisoned, been beaten, lost millions of dollars, and entered rehab twice she has unquestionably faired better then her Bodyguard co-star Kevin Costner.

Check Out Kevin Costner’s New Movie

Whitney it is clearly too late to save her career, but you may still have time to save your vital organs, Mugatu says you’ll look great at Bobby’s next parole hearing wearing this: Billabong Lumberjill Jacket

Paris Hilton Being Detained in Secret Government Prison

President Bush admitted today that secret C.I.A. prison camps have existed around the world to hold those deemed threats to America. Bush also disclosed a list of all persons being held in these C.I.A. secret prisons; the list was comprised almost entirely of terrorist suspects with one exception, Paris Hilton. Apparently Hilton garnered the attention of the C.I.A. a few weeks ago when she was bitten by Baby Luv, her pet Kinkajou monkey. The incident did not warrant C.I.A. intervention, but it was bazaar enough that the C.I.A. began to investigate. Days later Hilton released her first album Touched; the album flew up red flags across the Department of Homeland Security for its dangerous content, and was immediately banned from all flights. Hilton suddenly became a high priority target. After she was booked on DUI charges this week the C.I.A. intervened and “relocated the target (Hilton) to an area of neutrality”. Hazardous Materials crews have been working around the clock disposing of all the unsold albums, and tracking down the 6 sold copies. The message coming out of the White House today is that, with Paris Hilton gone, the American people are safer today then they were yesterday.

Mugatu Says Paris Hilton should get used to wearing stripes because nobody will try to get her out of prison, she should wear this: Gentle Fawn Thread Short Sleeve Polo